Unlucky Week 13: Black Cat JInx

dp frantically posted Flick Picks early Sunday morning and then, instead of settling into the sofa for a Sunday football teletrifecta, dp and lady flick fled the coop in pursuit of two (partially) black (and tan) cats. A wild kitty chase led us to the bowels of Central MA, where we rescued these two Himalayan kitties, dp's dynamic Persian duo, Samson (below right) and Delilah :

Aren't they adorable? Their only apparent downside is their subversive effect on certain NFL games. Surprise, surprise! Longhaired riddler Samson and queen of nag Delilah hexed dp's picks this day. That's right, flicksters: dp donkey punched his way to a 1-4 record in Week 14. Doh! Hey kitties!

Worse, dp went 0-3 in fantasy football this week, thanks in large part to the double whammy of Brett Favre's injury. (Not only did Favre get knocked out of a game for only the seventh time during his record 249-game (269 counting playoffs) consecutive start streak, he amassed negative fantasy points for all three of dp's X Country Packbacking fantasy squads.) dp had already locked up first place in the Koopa Troopa League, but he could have clinched playoff berths in Vick's K-9 Kennels and the peerless Empyreal Dynasty, respectively. Instead, Tony Romo's four touchdowns eliminated dp from Vick's 6-team playoff dog fight; and dp now faces a must-win Week 14 showdown with GSS's Brady-to-Moss Death Machine, the scary message-board menace and league-leading Empyrealest at 11-1, in order to assure a spot in the semifinals.

Worst, dp went 8-8 and finished second-to-last in this week's FLICK PICKS competition, plummeting him from third to ninth for the season. Another week like this, and dp's postseason fantasy hopes will lie in the (giant corporation-sponsored) Toilet Bowl.

Bonus Old Testament factoid: Sampson was so sweet that honey coated the carcass of the lion he tore apart with his bare hands (Judges 14.5-9)!

Bonus Old Testament factoid #2: The Biblical Samson once slew 1000 men with an ass's jawbone (Judges 15.15)!

Bonus factoid 3: Did you hear the Good Wuerd? The Suited Connector knows football. Value his comments highly. Meanwhile, dp vows to dig productively for Week 14 Upset Specials.

Week 13: 1-4 (8-8 overall pending Pats (-20.5) over Baltimore Monday night)
Season: 32-24 (126-66)

Week 13 Flick Picks: Articulate your Toes

Well, Dallas donkey punched da Packers 37-27 last night, defying dp's prediction of Packer dominance in Big D. dp's analysis depended in part on the strong play of two key Packers defenders, cornerback Charles Woodson and sack-happy defensive end Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila. Both players were listed as questionable with injuries, but unfortunately both were declared inactive just before kickoff. Clearly, Green Bay could not contain T.O. and Tony Romo without them. dp, the good doctor predictor, has been downgraded accordingly to donkey picker.

Worse, the Cowboys added further injury to insult in the second quarter, when cornerback Nathan Jones blitzed and nailed Brett Favre's throwing arm, causing an interception and knocking Favre out of the game with an injured elbow. (Favre also separated his other shoulder at some point in the game, quite possibly on the same play or perhaps during his first interception, when he unleashed a deep pass only to be crushed by Stephen Bowen.)

Thursday's game serves as a perfect example of the increasing degree of difficulty in navigating the NFL crosswinds. As the regular season wears on in December, each game's X factor keeps gettting bigger because of the unpredictability of injuries, worsening weather (witness the Miami at Philly rain-dance debacle last Monday night), and the fluctuating motivations of teams that have either been eliminated from or clinched playoff berths. While dp gambled and lost with the injury bug Thursday night, he is confident that, much like a finely tuned Yogi, he can articulate his toes to derive maximum benefit from exercising NFL Flick Picks. Indeed, the downward-phasing dog dp's Sunday predictions are still in play.

New York Jets at Miami (-1.5)
Miami nearly pulled off a huge upset at Philly last week, and the Dolphins realize this game represents their best chance to avoid a winless season. Head coach Cam Cameron feels that desperation just as acutely as his players, so look for Miami to effectively execute his game plan (a heavy dose of Jesse Chatman on the ground to control the clock and limit turnovers) and play with more passion and purpose than we'd expect from an 0-11 team.

Atlanta at St. Louis (-3)
Even though QB Marc Bulger has been ruled out with lingering symptoms from last week's concussion, the Rams will get by on the strength of a fully healthy Stephen Jackson.

Cleveland at Arizona (-1)
It seems as though the Cardinals should be able to run and shoot with the high-flying Browns, as Cleveland's "defense" couldn't stop a botttle with a cork. Yet karma tips the scales in Cleveland's favor: the Browns have given up more points than any team in the NFL, but QB Derek Anderson, WR Braylon Edwards, and TE Kellen Winslow keep making enough big plays to help the Browns win. That momentum continues here. Long-suffering Browns fan and original Flickster Eli "FJ" Shibowitz deserves as much. Cards QB Kurt Warner is likely to amass a ton of yards, but he'll find a way to lose the game in the end- even if he has fumble away the winning touchdown in his own endzone in overtime.

Tampa Bay at New Orleans (-3)
Bucs QB Jeff Garcia may play, but it won't matter. The Saints continue their playoff push by gaining ground on Tampa in the NFC South.

Denver (-3.5) at Oakland
Someone has to win, right? The Broncos still have life, while the Raiders can't steal much more than a shred of pride in this lost season.