Thursday, October 18, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Answers to Life's Biggest Questions
Check out this great clip of "crazy sports scenarios" brought to life by writer Todd Gallagher. If you've ever wondered how much of a head start you would need in order to beat an Olympic champion in a sprint, or if you could convert a sumo wrestler to an NFL player, you will find your answers here.
Check out Todd's book, Andy Roddick Beat Me With a Frying Pan, for more strange encounters of the sporting kind and more answers to questions like these: Can I beat Andy Roddick in tennis if he plays with a frying pan? Do professional darts throwers make great beer pong partners? Why don't NHL teams employ the absurdly fat goalies who simply cover the entire net with their flesh?
Yo flicksters, do you have any questions of your own for the sequel?
Check out Todd's book, Andy Roddick Beat Me With a Frying Pan, for more strange encounters of the sporting kind and more answers to questions like these: Can I beat Andy Roddick in tennis if he plays with a frying pan? Do professional darts throwers make great beer pong partners? Why don't NHL teams employ the absurdly fat goalies who simply cover the entire net with their flesh?Yo flicksters, do you have any questions of your own for the sequel?
Monday, October 15, 2007
NFL Week 6 Recap
Thanks to the Giants' Monday night 31-10 dismantling of the Falcons, dp turned in a season-best 4-2 mark in Week 6 picks. Granted, the Titans upset special didn't quite materialize. And the Chincinatti Bungles blew it again in Kansas City, losing 27-20 to drop to 1-4.
As Michael Vick knows, when you play with underdogs, you're bound to git bit in da butt now and again, but dp otherwise definitely proved to be downright prophetic.
dp breathed a deep sigh of relief after Charles Woodson's 57-yard scoop and score gave the Packers a 17-14 victory over the Redskins. Coming off a bye week spent dissecting 5 games of Green Bay film, the Redskins unleashed a great defensive game plan designed to stop Brett Favre. First, to prevent the efficient, quick-hitting short passes Mike McCarthy favors, the Skins rolled up cornerbacks Shawn Springs, Fred Smoot, and Carlos Rogers to play tight man-to-man coverage on Packers WRs Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, and James Jones. With his outside options jammed at the line of scrimmage, Favre couldn't throw the quick slants, outs, and hitches the Packers have exploited for great gain all year. Second, Washington blitzed often, gambling that with Favre's receivers tied up at the snap, the 'Skins could sack him or force him to throw before anyone came open downfield. It worked about as well as defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo could expect, as Favre didn't have a touchdown pass and served up two interceptions. Luckily, Woodson justified his expensive contract with a single game-breaking play. Strike the Heisman, C-Wood! Take that arm, and FLICK, just let it go....
Despite Green Bay's sputtering offense, dp thinks the Pack will utilize the bye week to rest, recover, regroup, and reload. McCarthy and Favre will be able to plot some new looks and come out with a reinvigorated offense in Week 8. Tellingly, the Packers adjusted at halftime by planning to throw deep and make the Skins pay for their aggressive pass coverage. Unfortunately, safety Sean Taylor picked off Favre's deep pass on the Packers' first 3rd quarter drive. dp actually felt relatively good when Favre threw his second interception. On a counterstrike option designed to expose the 'Skins aggressive press coverage, Favre pump-faked a quick slant to Jones, who then burst to the outside past a badly burned corner. Unfortunately, rather than lasering a 20-yard line drive pass, Favre fluttered a 40-yard floater, giving Taylor enough time to move across the field to snatch his second leaping pick. dp is confident that Favre will smooth out these and other new wrinkles and rebound with a great Week 8 performance on Monday night in Denver.
New England is hotter than Gisele Bundchen on a runway in Paris after Sunday's 41-27 FLICKing of the Cowboys in Big D. With a career-best 5 TD passes against Dallas to extend his NFL-leading total to a record 21 through six games, Tom Brady is hitting his receivers like they were supermodels- that is to say, in stride with great frequency of endzone penetration.
Seriously, at 6-0 and boasting a 230-92 total point differential, Belichick's cheaters are threatening to go unbeaten this year. The only way the Pats' lovefest gets broken up is if Brady gets sacked and buried by a wild pack of steaming A-list divas. Who knows, perhaps Gisele actually will intercept Bridget's baby....
Finally, in a less photogenic game, Philly defeated the Jets 16-9 to move to 2-3 (and 9-0 in games following a bye week under Andy Reid.) dp is once again Doctor Predictor, already off and looking for five Week 7 winners.
Week 6: 4-2
Season: 12-9
As Michael Vick knows, when you play with underdogs, you're bound to git bit in da butt now and again, but dp otherwise definitely proved to be downright prophetic.
dp breathed a deep sigh of relief after Charles Woodson's 57-yard scoop and score gave the Packers a 17-14 victory over the Redskins. Coming off a bye week spent dissecting 5 games of Green Bay film, the Redskins unleashed a great defensive game plan designed to stop Brett Favre. First, to prevent the efficient, quick-hitting short passes Mike McCarthy favors, the Skins rolled up cornerbacks Shawn Springs, Fred Smoot, and Carlos Rogers to play tight man-to-man coverage on Packers WRs Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, and James Jones. With his outside options jammed at the line of scrimmage, Favre couldn't throw the quick slants, outs, and hitches the Packers have exploited for great gain all year. Second, Washington blitzed often, gambling that with Favre's receivers tied up at the snap, the 'Skins could sack him or force him to throw before anyone came open downfield. It worked about as well as defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo could expect, as Favre didn't have a touchdown pass and served up two interceptions. Luckily, Woodson justified his expensive contract with a single game-breaking play. Strike the Heisman, C-Wood! Take that arm, and FLICK, just let it go....
Despite Green Bay's sputtering offense, dp thinks the Pack will utilize the bye week to rest, recover, regroup, and reload. McCarthy and Favre will be able to plot some new looks and come out with a reinvigorated offense in Week 8. Tellingly, the Packers adjusted at halftime by planning to throw deep and make the Skins pay for their aggressive pass coverage. Unfortunately, safety Sean Taylor picked off Favre's deep pass on the Packers' first 3rd quarter drive. dp actually felt relatively good when Favre threw his second interception. On a counterstrike option designed to expose the 'Skins aggressive press coverage, Favre pump-faked a quick slant to Jones, who then burst to the outside past a badly burned corner. Unfortunately, rather than lasering a 20-yard line drive pass, Favre fluttered a 40-yard floater, giving Taylor enough time to move across the field to snatch his second leaping pick. dp is confident that Favre will smooth out these and other new wrinkles and rebound with a great Week 8 performance on Monday night in Denver.
New England is hotter than Gisele Bundchen on a runway in Paris after Sunday's 41-27 FLICKing of the Cowboys in Big D. With a career-best 5 TD passes against Dallas to extend his NFL-leading total to a record 21 through six games, Tom Brady is hitting his receivers like they were supermodels- that is to say, in stride with great frequency of endzone penetration.
Seriously, at 6-0 and boasting a 230-92 total point differential, Belichick's cheaters are threatening to go unbeaten this year. The only way the Pats' lovefest gets broken up is if Brady gets sacked and buried by a wild pack of steaming A-list divas. Who knows, perhaps Gisele actually will intercept Bridget's baby....
Finally, in a less photogenic game, Philly defeated the Jets 16-9 to move to 2-3 (and 9-0 in games following a bye week under Andy Reid.) dp is once again Doctor Predictor, already off and looking for five Week 7 winners.Week 6: 4-2
Season: 12-9
Sunday, October 14, 2007
College Football Midseason Report: Aughtoberfest for California Sports Fans
We are officially in the midst of the time students across the country know simply as "midterms." Likewise, the first BCS rankings, college football's midterm report card, were released today.
Taking stock of the California sports scene, former teacher dp finds failure everywhere. It’s been a brutal month. The A’s, Giants, and Dodgers missed the post-season completely, the Padres were eliminated by the Rockies in the wild card tiebreaker, and the Angels were unceremoniously swept by the Red Sox in the Divisional Series. Worse still for football fans, UCLA, USC, and Cal have all recently endured appalling losses that damaged their BCS dreams.
First, riding high at 2-0 and ranked #11 in the country on Sept. 15, UCLA got trounced 44-6 by a Utah team that was winless at the time and still possesses a losing record in the mighty Mountain West Conference. Worse still, on Oct. 6 the Bruins travelled to 0-5 Notre Dame and were thoroughly embarrassed in a 31-7 loss. Notwithstanding these two black eyes, UCLA is in second place at 3-0 in the Pacific-10 and may statistically have a chance to win the conference, but with upcoming games against #12 Cal, undefeated Pac-10 leader #8 Arizona St., #10 Oregon, and #14 USC, the Bruins are bound to take a few more blows to the chin and topple further down the standings.
Astoundingly, USC’s season was also spoiled on Oct. 6. Pete Carroll’s juggernaut, which was a 41-point favorite against lowly Stanford, suffered the biggest upset in college football history in losing 24-23 at home in the Coliseum to Jim Harbaugh’s geeks. The Cardinal, who at 1-3 in conference play (2-4 overall) have yet to win again in the Pacific-10, somehow tamed the Trojan horse despite the fact that quarterback Tavita Pritchard entered the game having thrown all of three passes in his collegiate career. The Trojans are battling through a slew of injuries that have forced 11 starters to miss games yet remain in a three-way tie for third in the Pac-10. Up next for the Trojans? The (meekly) Fighting Irish of notorious shame.
Finally, Cal visits the Rose Bowl to face UCLA this Saturday and looks to rebound from its own crushing defeat last week, when the Golden Bears dropped a 31-28 heartbreaker at home to Oregon State. Entering the game undefeated and ranked #2 in the country, Cal stood to move into the top spot in light of #1 LSU’s triple-overtime loss to Kentucky, but clock mismanagement in the final seconds cost Cal a chance to kick a field goal and force overtime.
With all the craziness across campus gridirons this fall, it’s likely that a one-loss team like Cal or USC could still play in the BCS title game. Yet at this point, Oregon is a stronger candidate than either USC or Cal. Granted, Cal did defeat Oregon 31-24 on Sept. 29, but the Ducks have blown out all of their other opponents and have to be considered the best candidate to unseat Arizona St. at the top of the Pac-10.
At least California college football fans can commiserate in beautiful weather. The Pac-10 is not the Big 12, after all....
BCS Ring Game
Taking stock of the California sports scene, former teacher dp finds failure everywhere. It’s been a brutal month. The A’s, Giants, and Dodgers missed the post-season completely, the Padres were eliminated by the Rockies in the wild card tiebreaker, and the Angels were unceremoniously swept by the Red Sox in the Divisional Series. Worse still for football fans, UCLA, USC, and Cal have all recently endured appalling losses that damaged their BCS dreams.
First, riding high at 2-0 and ranked #11 in the country on Sept. 15, UCLA got trounced 44-6 by a Utah team that was winless at the time and still possesses a losing record in the mighty Mountain West Conference. Worse still, on Oct. 6 the Bruins travelled to 0-5 Notre Dame and were thoroughly embarrassed in a 31-7 loss. Notwithstanding these two black eyes, UCLA is in second place at 3-0 in the Pacific-10 and may statistically have a chance to win the conference, but with upcoming games against #12 Cal, undefeated Pac-10 leader #8 Arizona St., #10 Oregon, and #14 USC, the Bruins are bound to take a few more blows to the chin and topple further down the standings.
Astoundingly, USC’s season was also spoiled on Oct. 6. Pete Carroll’s juggernaut, which was a 41-point favorite against lowly Stanford, suffered the biggest upset in college football history in losing 24-23 at home in the Coliseum to Jim Harbaugh’s geeks. The Cardinal, who at 1-3 in conference play (2-4 overall) have yet to win again in the Pacific-10, somehow tamed the Trojan horse despite the fact that quarterback Tavita Pritchard entered the game having thrown all of three passes in his collegiate career. The Trojans are battling through a slew of injuries that have forced 11 starters to miss games yet remain in a three-way tie for third in the Pac-10. Up next for the Trojans? The (meekly) Fighting Irish of notorious shame.
Finally, Cal visits the Rose Bowl to face UCLA this Saturday and looks to rebound from its own crushing defeat last week, when the Golden Bears dropped a 31-28 heartbreaker at home to Oregon State. Entering the game undefeated and ranked #2 in the country, Cal stood to move into the top spot in light of #1 LSU’s triple-overtime loss to Kentucky, but clock mismanagement in the final seconds cost Cal a chance to kick a field goal and force overtime.With all the craziness across campus gridirons this fall, it’s likely that a one-loss team like Cal or USC could still play in the BCS title game. Yet at this point, Oregon is a stronger candidate than either USC or Cal. Granted, Cal did defeat Oregon 31-24 on Sept. 29, but the Ducks have blown out all of their other opponents and have to be considered the best candidate to unseat Arizona St. at the top of the Pac-10.
At least California college football fans can commiserate in beautiful weather. The Pac-10 is not the Big 12, after all....
Saturday, October 13, 2007
NFL Week 6 Picks: Road Warriors Rule
In Week 6's second-best matchup, NFC East leader Washington visits Lambeau Field, home of NFC North leader Green Bay. Despite the fact that the inside report from Scouts, Inc. and the minds of many experts favor Washington, dp backs the Pack, a field-goal favorite at home, denying plausibly a distinct possibility of the Redskins as upset specialists.
Sunday's biggest showdown in Big D features two unbeaten teams, New England and Dallas, in what could very well be a Super Bowl sneak preview. Again, dp drives parallel to the Vegas oddsmakers, who have installed the Pats as a 6-point favorite.
Meanwhile, in this week's upset special in Tampa Bay, dp definitively predicts that the Tennessee Titans's three-pronged rushing attack of Chris Brown, LenDale White, and Vince Young will trample the favored Bucs.
Finally, dp doggedly pushes three more road warriors in Week 6, expecting Cincy to streak past Kansas City, Philly to shoot down the Jets, and the Giants to ground the Falcons.
Five road teams to win in the closest games of Week 6? Is that the sound of a donkey braying five times? No, it's just dp, laughing all the way to the bank.
Week 5 record: 11-3 (all games)
2007 Season record: 49-27 (all games)
Sunday's biggest showdown in Big D features two unbeaten teams, New England and Dallas, in what could very well be a Super Bowl sneak preview. Again, dp drives parallel to the Vegas oddsmakers, who have installed the Pats as a 6-point favorite.
Meanwhile, in this week's upset special in Tampa Bay, dp definitively predicts that the Tennessee Titans's three-pronged rushing attack of Chris Brown, LenDale White, and Vince Young will trample the favored Bucs.
Finally, dp doggedly pushes three more road warriors in Week 6, expecting Cincy to streak past Kansas City, Philly to shoot down the Jets, and the Giants to ground the Falcons.
Five road teams to win in the closest games of Week 6? Is that the sound of a donkey braying five times? No, it's just dp, laughing all the way to the bank.
Week 5 record: 11-3 (all games)
2007 Season record: 49-27 (all games)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
From the Green Blazer: Happy Birthday, Michelle Wie!
Today's post comes courtesy of original FLICKster the Green Blazer.
Happy 18th Birthday, Michelle Wie. What better way to celebrate than participate in a repackaged Skins Game?
Two weeks ago Superhero Columnist dr, aka the Desert Rat (www.professionaldesertrat.blogspot.com) made a great point about the fading (lack) luster of the Skins Game. He suggested that, in the absence of big names like Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson, perhaps an all-women format could reinvigorate an essentially meaningless November golf event that gets killed in the television ratings by Saturday college football games and Sunday NFL games.
Not only does The Green Blazer agree with The Rat, he demands further action: let's turn it into a real Skins game and have these beautiful ladies not only win Skins but lose clothes along the way. The LPGA has admittedly taken its sex appeal up a notch. The ladies could end up in bikinis, and if one were to lose yet another hole, she could either opt to cut her losses and quit, or plunge into the nearest body of water and keep playing.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
The Wednesday Hump: Happy Birthday, Brett Favre; Sad Goodbye, Marion Jones
Did you hear that? What? No? Me neither. That's the sound of baseball not being played today. With the NBA in exhibition mode and the pro football season a quarter of the way through but stuck on the slowest day of the week, the professional team sports world has hit the ultimate Wednesday hump: zero meaningful games played. (Sorry, NBA, a handful of exhibitions don't count, especially considering that the Memphis Grizzlies, in Spain to capitalize on Pau Gasol's popularity, actually lost to Unicaja yesterday.)Navy did knock off Pitt 48-45 in OT in tonight's wildly entertaining and incredibly defenseless NCAA game, but dp hardly knew what to do on a day without baseball. As we await tomorrow's resumption of the playoffs with the National League Championship Series, it's worth noting that NeutralMilk, whose predictions based on closer songs correlated with dp's perfect round of Divisional Playoff picks, has departed from dp's ALCS and World Series pick, the Boston Red Sox. It seems he has misread Jonathan Papelbon's occasional use of "Wild Thing" (seen here in the video at the bottom of the post). He equates Papelbon entering to "Wild Thing" with the Patriots' stealing of opponents' signals. Further, because this song is inherently Indian territory (it did originate as Rick Vaughn's song in Major League) and is current Cleveland closer Joe Borowski's full-time anthem, he chooses Cleveland to win both the ALCS and the World Series. However, dp knows this test to be a false positive. In reality, Papelbon has actually negated Cleveland's edge (by employing laser tag tactics of holding up a mirror to reflect back enemy fire,) and the BoSox will go all the way. Better check your B-sample, NeutralMilk.
Speaking of drug tests, the sad saga of Marion Jones' disgrace continues to unfold.
When the confirmation of Jones' long-suspected drug use broke last Friday, Scoop Jackson spoke for many when he lamented how his girl Marion crushed his heart. Jones admitted in District Court that she not only lied to federal agents in her 2003 grand jury testimony in the BALCO case, but she also lied about her involvement in a fraudulent check-cashing scheme involving her agent, another former coach, and former boyfriend Tim Montgomery.
Victor Conte, BALCO's founder, has been saying for years that Jones used performance-enhancing drugs before and after her amazing performance in the 2000 Sydney Olympics, where she won five medals, including three gold. Yet even the gold standard has proved counterfeit, and now Jones has returned those medals to the International Olympic Committtee. It turns out that Conte was right all along.
Jones went so far as to file a $25 million libel lawsuit against Conte in 2004. (It was later settled out of court.) For a woman who has never failed a drug test (though she narrowly escaped with a false-positive for EPO in June 2006 when her B-sample came back negative) and has always categorically denied drug use, dp can't help but wonder why Jones finally decided to come clean about playing dirty. Many, including ESPN.com's Patrick Hruby, think that she's a pathological liar who "leaked" her admission in a letter to family and friends only to try to put a positive spin on an inevitable booking by the Feds. In this letter, Jones claims she thought that her coach, Trevor Graham, was giving her flaxseed oil, not realizing until years later that she'd actually been taking "the clear," a designer steroid at the center of the BALCO case.
Was the evidence so overwhelming against her that she had no choice except to craft one last convenient lie in a desperate attempt to save a bit of face? Or is it possible that a singularly focused world-class sprinter just did what her coach told her to do and didn't ask too many questions about the little drop of liquid on her tongue to help her "recover" faster after workouts? Jones, just one of about two dozen professional athletes to testify in the BALCO case, is certainly not a chemist, and probably couldn't tell the difference between a placebo and a painkiller, much less between a permissible "supplement" and an undetectable but illegal steroid. Barry Bonds also claimed under oath that he believed "the clear" to be flaxseed oil. Could this be a corroboration of truth, or is it again simply that smug wink of plausible deniability?
Or is it possible that there really is no real "truth" in a cutthroat competitive landscape in which individual success is only possible through a supreme self-confidence that borders on self-delusion? I mean, how realistic is it to think you are the fastest person on earth? It's preposterous, except perhaps for a very select few. Is it so surprising then to think that one of these megalomaniacs may actually reject, distort, qualify, or ignore anything which threatens her righteous faith in her talent and ability? By sheer force of will, can athletes like Jones and Bonds simply rationalize shady decisions?
The only certainty we have is that Jones, for one, couldn't live with her own guilt. In mourning her fall, we can only wonder whether countless other superstars like Lance Armstrong and Roger Clemens have benefited from a little extra boost as well. As more and more incriminating evidence mounts, it's getting more and more difficult to give our heroes the benefit of the doubt. As for Bonds, a lawyer familiar with his case ominously speculates that prosecutors will now shift their focus to investigating whether he committed perjury and tax evasion.
Although ESPN.com's Bomani Jones has a few ideas to consider on this dark sports Wednesday, dp can do no more than to wish original FLICKster Brett Favre a happy 38th birthday.
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